Why I Hate Being Harry Potter
by LoveandButterflyKisses
Summary: Most people, Muggles and wizards, want to be Harry Potter. Harry is a little fed up by this. He makes a list about why people DON'T want to be him. Please read and review.
1. Harry's Dilemmas

30 Terrible Things About Being Harry Potter

1. The worst Dark Wizard of all times is out to get you.

2. You only living family hates you.

3. Everyone gives you special treatment.

4. Your best friend abandons you when you need him the most.

5. Two of your best friends love each other, and they keep you in the middle of everything.

6. You love your best friend's sister.

7. Voldemort kills everyone who is a father figure to you.

8. The entire world believes that your godfather is a crazy murderer, even though he isn't.

9. At school, you somehow find every bit of trouble there is.

10. Somehow, the Goblet of Fire picked you to be the fourth champion of the Triwizard Tournament.

11. Dementors love all the bad energy you have.

12. Your parents are dead.

13. People treat you like a nutcase.

14. The Divination professor predicts your death over 100 times in a single year.

15. The Potions professor hates your guts, mainly because of who your father is.

16. Your Potions professor used to be in love with your mother.

17. Your archenemies don't leave you alone.

18. First, everyone loves you, and calls you "the Chosen One".

19. Then, they call you a liar and a fraud.

20. The Ministry of Magic tries every trick in the book to get you on their side.

21. No matter how famous you are, you still can't get a date to the one dance you are required to be at.

22. A house-elf named Dobby follows you everywhere and tries to kill you.

23. When you are twelve, a memory attacks you. A memory. How does that even happen?

24. Your own personal paparazzi follow you around Hogwarts.

25. Your broom gets smashed when a dementor attacks you.

26. Voldemort pops up on your DADA professor's head.

27. You witness a vampire-like thing drink a unicorn's blood.

28. A toad who calls herself a professor makes you carve words into your own flesh for detention.

29. You watch your crush's boyfriend be killed.

30. You can see thestrals, which almost no one else at Hogwarts can.


	2. Hermione's Issues

30 Reasons Why I Hate Being Hermione Granger

1. People make fun of me because I'm smart.

2. People make fun of me because I'm a Mudblood.

3. People make fun of me because I support Harry Potter.

4. "People" is mostly Slytherins, but a few Hufflepuffs and even the Gryffindors! Ravenclaws mostly leave me alone.

5. The boy I love barely knows I exist.

6. Voldemort's trying to kill my best friend.

7. Draco Malfoy hates me because I'm smarter than he is.

8. My parents are basically clueless about my world.

9. My parents won't let me use magic to fix the stupid buckteeth they cursed me with.

10. In third year, I had to hide from my best friends that I was using a TimeTurner to get to my lessons.

11. The boy I love was almost killed- um, I lost count of the amount of times, but it's a lot.

12. I've read every book in the school library, and now I need more reading material.

13. As soon as I start to fall harder for Ron, he pushes me further away.

14. At the Triwizard Tournament, when I met a new guy, Ron got territorial.

15. It is interesting to note that this guy is the same one who Ron was obsessing over two months before.

16. I have to help solve Ginny's love problems- well, that actually isn't TOO bad, but she does have a lot of them!

17. I can't date anyone in my year because I'm so in love with Ron- at least Ginny can date around!

18. In second year, I got attacked with a basilisk!

19. In fifth year, I came up with the idea to form a secret society so that we could learn magic. Yeah, that SOUNDS like a good thing, but you would have second thoughts too when the toad starts breathing down your back!

20. No one appreciates you- except when they need help with homework.

21. You have to modify your parents' memories so that they don't know you exist.

22. You take too many classes in third year, so many that you don't have any time to hang out with friends.

23. You are the only one in your close circle of friends who doesn't care about Quidditch.

24. You end up in newspapers all the time because of rumors that you're dating Harry Potter- which you're not.

25. Rita Skeeter bugs you, in all senses of the word.

26. I can't use my magic at home to make my world a better place.

27. No one appreciates my efforts to free all house elves- especially not the house elves.

28. Snape picks on me because I'm friends with Ron and Harry, which is a shame because I would really like Potions if not for him.

29. Ron runs out on me and Harry when we're hunting for Horcruxes because he thinks there's something going on between us.

30. Dumbledore leaves me a book of children's stories when he died. He couldn't have left me anything else? Books, love potions, original spells we might need, books?


	3. Ron's Problems

30 Reasons I Hate Being Ron Weasley

1. My last name sparks all kinds of insults from the Slytherins.

2. My middle name does, too.

3. My best friend and I have a love-hate relationship.

4. The love-hate relationship is normally my fault, because I screw up a lot.

5. I am the youngest of the boys in my family.

6. In second year, my only sister is almost killed by You-Know-Who.

7. Harry, my best friend, has always been comfortable with saying You-Know-Who's real name.

8. In third year, I'm almost killed by a werewolf and an Animagus.

9. In fourth year, I completely deserted my best friend when he needed me.

10. I didn't treat Hermione well, even though I really liked her.

11. In fifth year, I couldn't beat a GIRL in a fight. I mean, it's Hermione, but come on. A girl!

12. In seventh year, I ditch Harry *again* because I couldn't take the heat.

13. I upset the girl I love because I was having mental issues I worked out by leaving her.

14. I had to deal with that bloody locket Horcrux. No explanation needed.

15. I have Hermione do all my work as a way to get closer to her, but it doesn't work.

16. Most of the teachers hate me... Snape, McGonnagal, Flitwick, the list goes on...

17. My mother admitted she would rather have Harry as a son than me.

18. My best friend and my little sister date each other.

19. One of my brothers is attacked and mutated by Fenrir Greyback.

20. Another brother had his ear blasted off by a "friend".

21. A third brother was killed by You-Know-Who.

22. I first kissed Hermione when it seemed like we would both die. Not the best timing.

23. Because I was leaving with Harry and Hermione, my brothers charmed a ghoul to look like me.

24. In the Department of Mysteries, I played the role of a man who's wife was being sentenced to the dementor's kiss.

25. Bill got married to a girl that I had tried to ask out three years earlier. Awkward!

26. The Minister of Magic hates my dad because he is fascinated by Muggles.

27. I am not very smart. Hermione, who I keep trying to impress but it doesn't work, is a bloody genius. Do the math, people. Even I can figure that one out.

28. In second year, my wand is broken when I almost get killed by a tree. Yes, that's right, a tree.

29. Also in second year, a spell I cast backfired and I had to puke slugs for a long time.

30. Hermione tried to upset me by going out with my opponent Keeper on the Gryffindor team, and it worked.


End file.
